Totality
by blondie AKA robin
Summary: Various stories from Eclipse written in Edward's POV. Newest addition: Spontaneous Combustion.
1. Spontaneous Combustion, Part 1

_Author's Notes:_

_This is Edward's side of the bedroom reunion scene in **eclipse** (Chapter 8: Temper, pages 185-195). My story is divided into 4 parts, and they are all written, but the rest are in the polishing stages. I'll post them over the coming weeks. That way you can savor Edward for a little longer... :-)_

_Part 1 takes place on page 185. Bella is asleep in Edward's bed after escaping Alice's captivity and going to see Jacob. Jacob just told her that he'd rather see her dead than see her become a vampire. Edward arrives home from a two day hunting trip..._

_Many thanks to **psymom** and **MarcyJ **for very thorough and extremely helpful betas - they're amazing! _

_As usual, all the regular disclaimers apply: Stephenie Meyer owns all things **twilight**; no money is being made from this work; and absolutely no copyright infringement is intended. The dialog from **eclipse** here is copied only for clarity. Thanks to Stephenie for creating such wonderful characters!_

_One other note: I am a member of team Switzerland - I do not dislike Jacob, so don't be upset with me. Edward, on the other hand, has his own opinions..._

_In Edward's words..._

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**Part 1**

The door closed quietly behind me as I entered my darkened bedroom. I was holding my breath – still afraid that Bella wouldn't be here. The sound of her heartbeat had greeted me as we pulled up to the house, so it was ludicrous that I should still be so fearful. And yet it wasn't until my eyes fell on her lovely outline, huddled stubbornly on the couch, that I could relax. She was safe.

Slowly I took a breath, letting her scent fill me. My throat flared at her sweet enticement, but with hardly a thought I pushed the feeling aside. My thirst for her blood was overshadowed by other longings now, which forced me to exert a new, unfamiliar control over myself.

She filled my senses as I heard her breathing and heartbeat calmly serenading each other. I moved closer. Her face was so peaceful, angelic. I knelt down on the floor beside her, feeling the gentle breeze of her respiration. My hand reached out to her automatically, but I pulled it back. It had been a long two days in the wilderness, and the outdoors still clung to me like a thick second skin.

_I probably smell like that __**dog **__to her._ My teeth came together with a snap at the thought, and I froze. She didn't wake at the sound; she didn't even move, thankfully. I tried to relax, but the idea that I could smell like that disgusting _thing_… it turned my stomach, and I clenched my fist. I looked at my sleeping Bella again and took a deep breath. Alice had shown me how mad Bella was when she came back today – something the mongrel had said or done upset her. _Good, I hope she hates him_. Then I remembered that she probably felt the same anger toward me, and that she would surely forgive us both.

I stood—knowing it was a false hope that she would give up on her friend, but smiling at the thought anyway—then turned to the closet to collect a set of clean clothes. With one last look at her lovely, sleeping face, I headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

A nightlight left near the sink for Bella's benefit provided more than enough illumination as I set my clothes down on the counter. Slowly I turned on the shower, listening carefully to ensure I didn't wake Bella. The pace of her breathing never wavered as I peeled off my clothes and quietly stepped into the glass enclosed stall. The pitch of the water changed as it poured over me, and I listened again to see if the new sound interrupted her sleep. _What if it did wake her?_ Would she come to see what the noise was?

My mind was filled with the image of Bella opening the door and finding me showering in complete undress. I had been standing under the stream of water with my back to the door, but now I turned around to face it, envisioning her standing there in the dim light. My lack of embarrassment surprised me – as did the emotion that filled me – the want. I _wanted_ her to see me. All of me. I imagined her reaction: the blush, the realization, the lust…

_Would_ _she turn away? No, she had never shied away from the sight of me._ My vision of Bella would smile as she stood before me, separated from me by this thin sheet of glass. She would stare at my shimmering skin, and I imagined the wonder that would fill her eyes – and the love. Her hands would reach out as she stepped toward me…

_Stop it! Stop indulging in your fantasies_, I scolded myself and turned around again, tilting my face up into the water. I tried to wash away these selfish thoughts, without success. My hands returned to fists as I fought for a different kind of control.

_I could kill her – I __**would**__ kill her_, I told myself, finally pushing the carnal lust from my mind. Controlling this hunger was becoming more and more difficult, and unlike my thirst for her blood, the longing I felt for her touch was stronger when I was away from her. Even now, with Bella just a few feet away, my body ached for her. Shaking my head, I reached for the soap and quickly lathered up.

In the background of my mind I could hear other reunions going on in the house, nearly undoing me again. Thankfully, I heard Jasper and Alice heading out into the woods. Privacy was something they valued as well—as privacy alone brought Jasper respite from the constant control _he_ had to exert over his emotions. He suffered as much with his talent as I did with mine.

I grabbed the shampoo as I tried to push the thoughts of the rest of my family away, but I still heard… Jealousy now reared up inside me. Emmett and Rosalie devoured each other; Carlisle and Esme softly became one. They knew no limits in their physical relationships. _Someday I'll know that feeling, too_, the voice inside me said. I sighed as the image of Bella with eyes that matched mine appeared again. There seemed to be no avoiding this future, and as I rinsed my hair I knew that I wanted it as much as Bella did.

With a silent laugh I turned the temperature of the water down as cold as it would go. _A cold shower_… something else that I could not experience, I smirked. The water did turn cold, but I perceived temperature the way humans perceived colors. It was as if the water had turned from red to blue. I could imagine the comment Emmett would append to that color choice. One more chuckle and I slowly turned off the flow.

I grabbed a towel as I stepped out and began to dry off. To keep my mind off of the physical aspects of Bella's attraction I tried to focus on the memories of the hunting trip. Finding my favorite prey did not provide the satisfaction I had hoped it would. The mountain lions were plentiful and angry, making for as much of a challenge as ever, but I was too preoccupied with getting home to truly enjoy the hunt. Then, when we returned to the car this evening the messages were there… three of them.

The first was from Bella, and I winced at the anger in her words. Her captivity was for her own good, I'd told myself, to protect her. I hadn't worried _too_ much about the message – 'dazzling' her out of her furor was a challenge I was looking forward to, and a smile crossed my lips as I reached for my clothes.

Then there was the second message. Even now I trembled with fear and anger at the memory, nearly crushing the button on my jeans as I fasten it. "She's gone with the dog – I couldn't stop her. I'm so sorry Edward," Alice had said softly. For a human, Bella had an uncanny talent for eluding my family's enhanced abilities. I took a long slow breath and pushed that memory away as I picked up my clean shirt.

The third message was what kept me from completely losing my mind. "She's back and she's just fine, Edward. I think she's even mad at the dog. You don't need to worry." Alice's voice was relieved now, and I had managed to calm down before Carlisle or my brothers had worried. Only Jasper had sensed my momentary panic, but he didn't say anything. He'd just nodded when he felt the relief of the third message fill me.

Now I was home, and she was just feet away. A fast comb through my damp hair, and I was on my way through the door to my sleeping beauty…

Bella had shifted slightly, rolling over on the couch while I'd been cleaning up. I approached her slowly, wondering at how beautiful she looked from the back. Her tangled hair spilled over the edge of the couch, nearly touching the floor, leaving her smooth neck and shoulder exposed. The bulky comforter camouflaged her body, but the thought of her warmth encapsulated in such a small package was still alluring.

Again I knelt next to her, gently running one finger through her chestnut locks. I leaned in and inhaled deeply. There was not even a hint of the dog on her, thankfully. I rocked back on my heels as the image of him touching her, even innocently, burned my mind with hatred. I knew he loved her, and I wanted to kill him for it – slowly, painfully. Whether as a dog or a boy, I wanted to tear him limb from limb and hear his screams as his wretched smelling blood poured out, littering the ground around his broken carcass…

My hand came up to my face now, trying to hide these emotions from my sleeping love. There was no way I would act on such vicious thoughts – not as long as Bella cared for him. I had already inflicted nearly the same torture on _her_ when I'd left, and this was fitting penance for what I'd put her through. The fact that she _wanted_ to be with him was the perfect punishment; even I could see the irony as the agony of regret coursed through me.

Her words came back to me now – was this hatred just the natural animosity between mortal enemies, or was it more – was it _jealousy_? My mind answered first – of course it was the natural order. He was a threat to my existence and to Bella's safety, and nothing was more important to me than her. Then my heart answered with a shout – _SHE IS MINE, will be MINE, for as long as I live_… and I gasped. The strength of the jealousy took me by surprise.

My fingers massaged the bridge of my nose as I tried to sort out these feelings and decide what to do. Bella had been very clear that she only felt friendship for …_Jacob_. His name burned my mind with jealousy again, and I fought to control myself. How could this pup, this _child_, have such an effect on me? I was over a century old; his childish affections for her were nothing compared to the depth of my love, and Bella knew that. And yet she craved his companionship; she put herself at risk to get it. The dirty red motorbike in the garage was a testament to how reckless she could be.

She swore she was safe with him. Did I trust her more than I hated him? She'd spent so much time with him, before… Grief struck me again, remembering our time apart. I sighed quietly. This was my fault – all of it. I'd given him the opportunity to win her; literally pushing her into his company by stupidly thinking I could just erase myself from her life. There was nothing I could do about the past, though, only the future. What was I going to do about Jacob Black?

My mind continued to chew on the dilemma as I stood and looked at the bed, stripped of its covering. I couldn't help but snicker at Bella, now; she was so stubborn, refusing to gracefully accept yet another of my gifts – even if it meant an uncomfortable night on a couch. She would be angry when she woke – hmmm, what would be the fastest way to gain her forgiveness?

Smiling to myself, I very carefully cradled Bella in my arms. Her warmth permeated my skin, and her closeness filled me with euphoria. Again I inhaled, feeling the pull of her blood but embracing it. _She IS mine_…

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_A/N: So what do you think? I love your reviews!_


	2. Spontaneous Combustion, Part 2

_Author's Notes:_

_In review, Edward is just placing sleeping Bella on the bed... is it getting hot in here?- **Eclipse**, pages 185-189..._

_Again, many thanks to wonderful beta's by **psymom** and **MarcyJ,** two most excellent TwilightMoms! _

_As usual, all the regular disclaimers apply: Stephenie Meyer owns all things twilight; no money is being made from this work; and absolutely no copyright infringement is intended. The dialog from eclipse here is copied only for clarity. Thanks to Stephenie for creating such wonderful characters! Still on team Switzerland..._

_Now I'm not inspired so much by music, but one song that seems to go well with this chapter is "Addicted to Love" by Robert Palmer._

_In Edward's words..._

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**Part 2**

I gently set Bella on the bed, arranging the coverings so she could comfortably move, then lay down beside her. Her breathing changed and she rolled away from me and stretched. I heard her eyelids flutter – was she awake?

Bella rolled back toward me, her eyes open, searching for me in the darkness, but not seeing. _She is so lovely._

"Sorry," I said softly, "I didn't mean to wake you."

She tensed next to me, gathering her anger, I suspected. I only wanted to protect her, but forcing her to remain here against her will was unwise, I could see that now. My plan had not protected her from danger, but driven her into its arms. Her wrath was justified, and I prepared to receive it.

Bella didn't speak, but slid her hands over the comforter toward me, searching. Hesitantly I reached out toward her in the dark, letting her find my hand. Her touch immediately changed me; it filled me with the completeness I felt only when we were together. The loss I carried when we were apart vanished – I was whole again.

She pulled herself to me, and I held her close. Her warm mouth found my neck as her search continued, stopping only when she reached my waiting lips. Gently we kissed, and I inhaled slowly, savoring her scent. When we parted, my tongue discovered the taste of her that lingered, indulging in her sweet aperitif. I gazed at her in the darkness, expecting a grimace, but receiving a smile instead.

A laugh escaped me – this was not the anger I was expecting.

"I was braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, and this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often." She couldn't have forgiven me already – the image of Bella's rage was so clear in Alice's mind when I'd arrived. Our lips continued to press together as she teased me, not showing any signs that the anger was still present. I touched her shoulder, slowly sliding my fingers into her hair as my lips moved to her throat.

I could feel her life's blood pulsing rapidly just millimeters from my knifelike teeth, and yet, kissing her here was so much safer than her lips. Her skin didn't wrap itself around my lips the way her mouth did; it didn't seek out my venom coated teeth the way her tongue did. Her throat was infinitely easier to resist than her kiss.

"Welcome home," she said hoarsely, "I'm glad you came back." The words were warm, inviting, and the one thing I'd longed to hear while away.

"That's a very good thing." I said, not moving my lips from her soft skin.

"Mmm," she purred, her arousal apparent as she tightened her grip on my neck.

Then I remembered that she'd refused my bed, and smiled… her obstinance was so absurd. A devilish thought came to mind…

I let my fingers slide down her arm to her shoulder, enjoying the heat of her bare skin. She didn't speak, but the change in her breathing told me how my touch affected her.

My hand continued down her side carefully, and her heartbeat increased. I forced my breathing to stay even, in control; reminding myself that _I_ was trying to tease _her_.

With great concentration, I slid my hand over her hip and found her knee. Her body was so supple and so appealing… but I pushed those thoughts away, maintaining my self-control. I pulled her knee around my hip quickly… _Gently_, I reminded myself. As I did, her breathing stopped, and mine with it. Our bodies touched in new and different ways now, and my grip on self-control began to slip.

Another second passed, and Bella inhaled sharply and her pulse increased with obvious excitement. The delight my touch brought her thrilled me – that she could be so enamored with me, a cold, heartless being… _It was unimaginable. _The thought brought a smile to my lips.

"Not to bring on the ire prematurely, but do you mind telling me what it is about the bed that you object to?" Teasing, I rolled on to my back, pulling her on top of me. She was light as a feather, softly balanced above me.

Suddenly my desire ignited, and I was acutely aware of the blush rising in her cheeks as I very carefully lifted her chin up and away from mine, kissing her throat again delicately. How I wanted her lips, but that would not be wise… _too dangerous_, I chided myself, as I pressed my lips to her skin…

Every single point where our bodies touched was steaming as her fire touched my ice. Bella's loud breathing made her pleasure even more apparent to me, and my mind filled with so many more ways to stimulate her. I concentrated on the sound of her racing pulse as I worked to push the lustful thoughts away.

_I could kill her_… the words floated through my mind again as I carefully restrained myself.

"The bed? _I_ think it's nice," I managed to say.

"It's unnecessary," she croaked. I couldn't resist her lips any longer, and pulled them back down to mine, focusing on how our lips touched – and on keeping mine closed against the tantalizing invitation hers presented. Slowly I rolled over again, just barely pressing my solid frame against her fragile one. Her heart pounded against mine and I chuckled as the echoing vibrations felt like they were my own.

"That's debatable, this would be difficult on a couch," I enticed. My teasing was reaching a dangerous level now, pushing my restraint to its limits.

How I wanted to taste her… But I took my lips from hers. For the smallest of moments I let myself consider kissing her fully, deeply, but then knew what the consequences of such an indulgence would be. As in so many other things I searched for some kind of middle ground as I peered down at my lovely Bella, her lips full and unmoving.

Carefully, I leaned in, letting the tip of my tongue touch the outside edge of her lip. If she moved, I would have to separate myself from her – and quickly. This time though, Bella remained motionless, allowing me to trace the entire shape of her sensual mouth, to revel in a taste that rivaled that of her blood. Barely breathing, I forced myself to stop before my tongue found the inside of her lips… and more. _To be so close_…

_I would kill her…_ my conscience said, and I pulled away.

"Did you change your mind?" she breathed heavily.

I'd taken the teasing too far… She would be demanding even more of me if I didn't stop this now. The thought of what she would try and do sent a shiver down my spine; the temptation she presented to me was nearly unbearable. I took a deep breath and sighed, chastising myself more than her as we rolled back on our sides.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella. I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed you don't seem to like. Don't get carried away." _As I nearly did…_

"Too late," she said sadly, "And I like the bed."

"Good," I smiled, "I do, too." …though without her it was nothing…

"But I still think it's unnecessary. If we're not going to get carried away, what's the point?" she said.

I sighed again, so wishing I had a different answer for her. "For the hundredth time, Bella – it's too dangerous."

"I like danger," she pressed.

The dog's face suddenly appeared in my head. "I know," I said darkly.

"I'll tell you what's dangerous," she continued, her words picking up speed. "I'm going to spontaneously combust one of these days – and you'll have no one but yourself to blame."

What an apt description. So many longings fought inside me – I felt like a can of her favorite soda. With every touch, every look, every breath, she shook that can a little harder. How much longer could I stand it? And she thought _she_ was suffering… I tried to channel those feelings into another place – one of patience; and I gently pushed myself away from her.

"What are you doing?" she cried.

"Protecting you from combustion," _Mine_, I thought. "If this is too much for you…" It was definitely getting to be too much for me.

"I can handle it," she said, oblivious to my suffering.

She wiggled back into my embrace, calmly encouraging my arms to encircle her once more. We bantered a bit more about self-control; Bella was still so unaware of how much it took for me to hold her like this. She assumed that she was the only one affected by our closeness. "You have no idea Bella. It doesn't help that you are so eager to undermine my self-control, either." _Someday this restraint will be unnecessary_… the words flitted carelessly through my mind…

"I'm not going to apologize for that." Her words reminded me of her anger, and I prepared myself for the consequences that surely must be coming.

"Can _I_ apologize?" I asked.

"For what?" Bella's tone was truly confused – She must not be completely awake yet. I frowned as I forced the next words out.

"You were angry with me, remember?"

"Oh, that." The anger _was_ gone already, I could tell. How did I manage to gain the affections of this angel? Time and time again she has forgiven me my errors, without the slightest hint of a grudge, or even a harsh word. That I could have deserved this compassion was inconceivable.

"I'm sorry. I was wrong. It's much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely _here_." My arms tightened around her gently. "I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I don't think I'll go so far again. It's not worth it." Nothing was worth putting that kind of distance between Bella and myself…

She smiled into the darkness. "Didn't you find any mountain lions?"

"Yes, I did, actually. Still not worth the anxiety. I'm sorry I had Alice hold you hostage, though. That was a bad idea." As I spoke the words, my mind raced. How could I guarantee Bella's safety and still leave her?

There was only one answer to that question, _I couldn't_. This attempt had turned out disastrously, resulting in her taking even more risks than if I'd just allowed her the freedom she'd requested.

Quietly I gritted my teeth for a moment. The dog hadn't injured her, and I would have to trust that he enough control, even if he was a child. I suddenly remembered that he'd saved her life – it seemed like so long ago – and I still owed him for that. I would have to trust Bella, trust her belief that she was safe with… _him_.

"Yes." She said simply, replying to both my words and my thoughts.

"I won't do it again." My fears dissolved as I felt her breathe at the base of my neck.

"Okay. But slumber parties do have their advantages…" She said seductively as she pressed her lips just above my collarbone, sending a new thrill through me. "_You_ can hold me hostage any time you want."

I smiled. "Mmm," I sighed. "I may take you up on that."

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_I love your comments... please tell me what you think..._


	3. Spontaneous Combustion, Part 3

_Author's Notes:_

_Part 3: Bella's Apology... This is the chapter where I get flamed by Team Jacob. Remember that this is EDWARD speaking, not ME - I don't make this stuff up, you know :-) To recap, Edward just finished apologized to Bella for having Alice hold her hostage._

_One more part to go..._

_Many thanks to **psymom** and **MarcyJ **for very thorough and extremely helpful betas - they're amazing! _

_As usual, all the regular disclaimers apply: Stephenie Meyer owns all things **twilight**; no money is being made from this work; and absolutely no copyright infringement is intended. The dialog from **eclipse** here is copied only for clarity. Thanks to Stephenie for creating such wonderful characters!_

_In Edward's words..._

Part 3

"So is it my turn now?" Bella asked as she leaned away from me slightly. The seductive lilt left her voice, and she sounded repentant.

"Your turn?" I was confused by her question.

"To apologize."

"What do you have to apologize for?" If anything it was … _Jacob_ that owed me an apology. For taking her today, for trying to steal her away from me forever…

"Aren't you mad at me?"

_Silly Bella, I can never get mad at you. How many times must I remind you?_ "No," I said with feeling.

She scowled, "Didn't you see Alice when you got home?"

"Yes – why?" Alice had flooded me with so many images when I'd arrived home that it took me several minutes to process them all. She was the best at quickly organizing her thoughts and flying through them for my benefit. In those few seconds I saw the entire weekend through Alice's eyes, including how my sister couldn't have done anything to stop Bella from leaving. Alice's thoughts had emphasized her helplessness; repeating Bella's daring escape a nauseating number of times in her mind.

"Are you going to take her Porsche back?"

"Of course not. It was a gift." I rolled my eyes. Alice had asked the same question. _How_ _petty do they think I am?_

"Don't you want to know what I did?" her voice was puzzled.

_Yes and no_… Bella's question, like everything about her, stirred two reactions. I so wanted to know what that… _Jacob_ had done to infuriate Bella, and yet I didn't think I could stand to hear how she enjoyed spending time with him. Knowing that she ran to him to comfort him… _Relax_, I thought.

Calmly I shrugged, "I'm always interested in everything you do – but you don't have to tell me unless you want to."

"But I went to La Push." I suppressed my reaction to the name.

"I know."

Bella sounded confused. "And I ditched school." Alice's memory returned – the sight of Bella on the back of a motorbike, clinging to _him_. I bit my lip for the shortest of moments fighting back the sting of the image.

"So did I."

Her fingers came up to my face and began to trace my features. As she outlined my eyes and my mouth with her warm hands, the jealousy took on a new form. I imagined the look on Jacob's face, were he to see her caressing me so tenderly. This thought was the one that finally brought a small smile to my lips.

"Where did all this tolerance come from?" she demanded. I had to decide now – what to do about the werewolf. Should I keep trying to keep her from him, or give her the freedom she wished? The freedom to _choose_… I sighed.

"I decided that you were right. My problem before was more about my… prejudice against werewolves more than anything else. I'm going to try to be more reasonable and trust your judgment. If you say it's safe, then I'll believe you."

The fact that my jealousy was driving me insane would not be something Bella would ever know. I am not a child – and Jacob would learn very quickly that he will not take her from me. _He may just push her away himself,_ I thought as wondered again what made Bella so mad earlier.

"Wow," she said with awe. I smiled briefly.

"And… most importantly… I'm not willing to let this drive a wedge between us." Bella melted into my chest without another word. The hatred I felt for him, the fear of losing her, every negative emotion vanished in that second as I held her tightly to my chest. Her warmth filled me again and I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation.

Unfortunately, my mind refused to stay silent for very long, and curiosity now wove its way back into my consciousness, like an itch that must be scratched. "So, did you make plans to go back to La Push again soon?" I asked carefully.

She froze, and suddenly I felt a stab of fear. Maybe the anger Alice had seen hadn't be about the dog… she must be going back soon…

"Just so that I can make my own plans – I don't want you to feel like you have to hurry back because I'm sitting around waiting for you." _I don't want you to feel like you EVER have to go back_…

Her voice was hollow now, "No, I don't have plans to go back." _Yes_, my heart rejoiced. I contained my happiness though, as I replied.

"Oh. You don't have to do that for me."

"I don't think I'm welcome anymore," Bella barely breathed. Her pain now mixed with my joy and the curiosity screamed even louder in my mind. _What did he do to her?_

"Did you run over someone's cat?" I asked casually. She may not want to share this with me… but there had to be a way for me to find out. I just had to get close enough to the… _Jacob_.

"No," she inhaled deeply, then sadly explained Jacob's reaction to her plan to become immortal. Even though I despised him, I sympathized with... Jacob's reaction, and even envied him the freedom to express his emotions. His anger at Bella's decision to become a vampire was completely justified, and in the past I had shared it. He must have enormous control to have maintained his human form under those circumstances – it was anger that provoked the transformation in most young werewolves. I hated to admit it, but Bella was right; she _was_ safe with him.

I looked at my love's face, and the pain written there consumed me as she finished her tale.

"He wasn't expecting… that it was so soon."

"Ah," was all I could say. It didn't seem like this was what provoked her anger. Then she spoke again.

"He said he'd rather see me dead." Her words were soft, and as she spoke the pain in her voice crushed my heart. _That animal – how could he be so heartless_. Did he not realize his words were as damaging as if he'd slapped her? I froze as the venom in my thoughts increased. I realized that Bella stopped breathing at my reaction, so I focused on her instead, carefully holding her close. _It will be impossible for me to leave again_.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered; her now labored breathing radiating her sorrow through me.

"I thought you'd be glad," she said softly. I _was_ glad, ecstatic even… until her sadness became apparent. Nothing that made her sad would ever make me happy…

"Glad over something that's hurt you? I don't think so, Bella."

That mongrel was going to pay for hurting her – if it took me fifty years, he would pay – excruciatingly. The image of my cold hand suffocating the final beats of his canine heart appeared in my mind.

I hadn't realized I'd frozen again until Bella spoke. "What's wrong?" she asked, concerned. I tried to push the violent images away, but I couldn't. I imagined his father, sitting alone in the cemetery, crying over the coffin of his son. An evil satisfaction warmed me now as Bella's words brushed my neck.

"It's nothing." I said evenly.

"You can tell me," she implored. Her words cleared my thoughts as I visualized how she would react to my fantasies. I tried again to suppress the jealousy that raged in me – hiding it from her. But she needed to know that I will fight for her…

"It might make you angry," I tested.

"I still want to know."

How can I tell her that I want to tear her best friend to shreds without seeming a monster? I sighed.

"I could quite literally kill him for saying that to you. I _want_ to." I braced myself for her rebuke, but was surprised when she laughed.

"I guess it's a good thing you've got so much self-control." She giggled stiffly.

_You truly have no idea_… Every limit I had was being tested tonight…

"I could slip." Maybe she didn't care as much for the mutt as I thought. Maybe she _wouldn't_ go back to him ever again…

_No, this is Bella_, I reminded myself. She couldn't carry a grudge if it was in a sack over her shoulder. _It was only a matter of time_, I thought sadly.

"If you're going to have a lapse in control, I can think of a better place for it." _Ah, Bella, back to the temptress_… As her hand reached for my face, I prevented her from finding my lips. Between the anger and the lust, my control had just about run its course for the evening. I sighed again – she enticed me so, and I loved her immeasurably… I needed separation from her, yet craved her closeness. The tightrope I walked was getting thinner by the second.

"Must I always be the responsible one?" I mumbled.

She smiled into the darkness again. "No. Let me be in charge of responsibility for a few minutes… or hours."

_Minutes or hours_… Bella would be lucky to live _seconds_ if I wasn't responsible. I gently started to disentangle myself from her grasp, trying to decide which music I would immerse myself in to some how calm down. If she would only go back to sleep…

"Good night, Bella," I said firmly.


	4. Spontaneous Combustion, Part 4

_Author's Notes:_

_Here is the last part - Bella's jealousy. This section of **eclipse** contains my signature phrase... (oh Edward, how could you be so hard on me?)_

_Many thanks to **psymom** and **MarcyJ **for making it to the end! You guys ROCK!_

_UPDATE 3/22: Thanks to **LindaRoo** for her great catch of a couple of timeline errors (and shared the fact that SM had told her at a book signing that Tanya's pass happened on Edward's trip to Denali after meeting Bella). A few changes have been made to remedy that error only._

_As usual, all the regular disclaimers apply: Stephenie Meyer owns all things **twilight**; no money is being made from this work; and absolutely no copyright infringement is intended. The dialog from **eclipse** here is copied only for clarity. Thanks to Stephenie for creating such wonderful characters!_

_Where we are...Edward was just insanely jealous of Jacob, and part 3 ended with Bella trying to kiss Edward one more time..._

_In Edward's lovely voice..._

* * *

"_Good night, Bella."_

**Part 4**

She clung to me desperately for a moment. "Wait – there was something else I wanted to ask you about."

I paused. What else could she be thinking of – some other way to tempt me tonight?

"What's that?"

"I was talking to Rosalie last night…" My sister's memory of their conversation had been in the forefront of Rosalie's thoughts when I'd arrived tonight. I'd seen Bella through her eyes, seen her trepidation at hearing the graphic tale. I tensed, not knowing which part Bella had questions about.

"Yes. She was thinking about that when I got in. She gave you quite a lot to consider, didn't she?" Was Rosalie able to finally convince Bella to stay human?

Part of me had grown so used to the idea that Bella would eventually join me as an immortal, that it hurt thinking that she'd finally given in and decided to stay human. S_taying human is what is best for Bella, truly it is._ But _Rosalie?_ Who would have thought that she would be the one to sway Bella?

The look on Bella's face changed; her brow creased in thought, as though she was trying to say something difficult. I heard her heart rate increase and I prepared to hear Bella's new realization.

"She told me a little bit… about the time your family lived in Denali." Her voice was tentative, controlled.

These were not the words I was expecting, and I didn't know how to react. _Denali_ – that was so long ago – before I really knew Bella. What had Rosalie told her? Why would she bring up that piece of the past? My gratitude toward my least favorite sibling vanished.

"Yes?" Uneasiness crept over me.

Suspiciously Bella answered, "She mentioned something about a bunch of female vampires… and you."

_Damn it, Rosalie, when will you ever learn to shut your mouth… stirring up trouble every time you open that trap._ I kept my anger deep inside – saving it for my _dear_ sister. A few of Emmett's more colorful curses now flew through my mind.

Bella waited for me to say something – but what could I say? To use common vernacular, _yes, they hit on me_… But that was ancient history. There was only one... incident... and nothing really happened.

"Don't worry," Bella said, and there was an edge to her words now. "She told me that you didn't… show a preference. But I was just wondering, you know, if any of them had." She took a breath, and I could feel the heat of the blood rising in her cheeks. "Shown a preference for you, I mean."

I gazed at Bella's face and realized that this was not the same blush I'd come to love… there was no smile to accompany it. She actually looked like she was fighting back a grimace. As I processed this new expression it grew darker.

_Shown a preference_… that was a euphemism I wasn't familiar with… how could I answer her? It could be said that Tanya had 'shown a preference' for me, but had been long after we'd moved from Denali. I'd only spent two days total in Denali on that return visit, trying to clear my head after meeting my exceptionally delectable lab partner.

Tanya's subtle touches and sidelong glances had definitely conveyed her affection, but I'd thought that she was just trying to comfort me - at first. When I had realized the true intentions behind her displays, I'd politely declined her advances as quickly as possible. Her courting never passed the curious stage - she never even kissed me. My words to her came back in a flash: "While your attention is flattering, Tanya, your time would be better invested elsewhere."

_Nothing had happened._

Tanya had taken the rejection with grace, but not before mentally inviting me to her bed one more time. In a few short seconds she had pictured us locked together in an embrace that included maximum contact and minimal clothing. Had I been able, I would have blushed. And yet the image of Tanya's sleek, bare body held no attraction for me; my mind was already filled with the torture and mystery that a certain Bella Swan had presented me just a day before. "No thank you, Tanya," I'd said, and immediately left to go hunt.

"Which one?" Bella asked, her words becoming harder as she spoke. "Or was there more than one?" Bella's imagination was running away with her before my eyes. I still couldn't find words, though, and the hole I was in grew that much deeper with each passing second.

More than one? _No, just Tanya_; though the others, like so many women I'd encountered over the years, always seemed to have some inappropriate comment about my anatomy waiting on the tip of their tongue.

The encounter disturbed me for only a short while. Tanya and her family had always been friends, and I worried that this uncomfortable situation might damage their relationship with Carlisle and the rest of my family. Thankfully when I did finally return from hunting, Tanya apologized, attributing her advances as simply a girlish fantasy. We'd parted shortly thereafter, friendship intact.

As much as I hated to admit it, Tanya wasn't the first to include me in her fantasies. She just took the image to a new level that caught me off guard. It is said that men think of nothing but sex – but we have nothing on a woman's imagination, especially that of an experienced female like Tanya.

Still – this was only one female – only one thought really – and nothing had happened. The words still sounded unbelievable, even to me; Bella would only hear them as a guilty admission. Speech still eluded me as the phrase 'hung out to dry' took on a new clarity for me.

"Alice will tell me, I'll go ask her right now." _Great. Let's get the whole family involved._ Alice wouldn't embellish, but the visions she'd had when I was confronted with the choice of taking Tanya's invitation were, to my eyes, pornographic. In one flash, Alice had seen our entire relationship – what there was of it. My innocence, her conquest, the nasty aftermath of shame… all of it was laid out in my mind in its Technicolor glory. I pinched my eyes shut tightly, trying to erase the filthy feeling that memory still brought me.

Bella tried to wiggle free, but I held her still. My silence had to end, I could see anger starting to rise in my love's face.

"It's late. Besides, I think Alice stepped out…" I had to cut this short – now.

"It's bad. It's really bad, isn't it?" her voice changed, and the anger changed to despair. _Ah, Bella, there has been only you; there can be only you_…

"Calm down, Bella, you are being absurd," I scolded, touching my lips to the tip of her nose.

"Am I? Then why won't you tell me?" Suddenly I felt a new adoration for my beautiful Bella – _she_ was jealous!

"Because there's nothing to tell. You're blowing this wildly out of proportion." I suppressed the smirk that was lingering on my lips. The anger in her face now was quite lovely.

"Which one?" she nearly shouted.

_She wasn't going to let this go_ _without details_. I sighed. How could I appropriately thank Rosalie for this annoying situation? Emmett didn't know all the _details_ of Rosalie's fascination with a certain actor, and the photos that she had squirreled away in a jar in her dresser… Maybe I could dye all of Rosalie's clothes lime green – that seemed quite appropriate…

I kept my voice very even as I spoke. "Tanya expressed a little interest. I let her know, in a very courteous, gentlemanly fashion, that I did not return that interest. End of story." _There, that didn't sound so bad_…

Her voice became mechanical. "Tell me something – what does Tanya look like?"

_Oh, no, I will not be pulled into that trap…_ "Just like the rest of us – white skin, gold eyes," I answered quickly.

Bella frowned in the dark and her voice became sharp. "And, of course, extraordinarily beautiful."

_Not compared to you_, I thought. Somehow I knew that she wouldn't appreciate that comparison though, or _any_ comparison at the moment. I shrugged.

"I suppose, to human eyes." I had to get her off this subject… "You know what, though?"

"What?" she snapped.

As if I hadn't had enough temptation tonight, her jealousy now called to me. I brought my lips to her ear and whispered softly, "I prefer brunettes," and brushed my lips against her earlobe.

Her tone softened slightly. "She's a blonde. That figures."

As I continued to trace her ear with my lips I could hear her heart beat starting to accelerate again. "Strawberry blonde – not at all my type."

Bella didn't speak, but set her mouth in a pout as she considered my words. I couldn't help but smile at her expression as I continued to distract her. My lips began to absorb the heat of her soft skin as I traced her neck and jaw, then back down. Each time I reached her chin, I could feel Bella's face relax a little more. _She was so stubborn_… _How I loved her_.

"I _guess_ that's okay, then," she said sourly.

"Hmm, you're quite adorable when you're jealous," I said, my lips never leaving her neck. "It's surprisingly enjoyable." I smiled widely, making my way back to her ear, enjoying how the scowl on her face warmed my heart. She still refused to speak, her lips pressed tightly together.

"It's late," I whispered, starting to chant my words. "Sleep, my Bella, Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love."

If there were only some way I could prove how true my words were to her. _There is one way…_ And the greatest temptation of all now reared its head. For a moment I let myself visualize Bella's dream, and closed my eyes.

_She lay here on the bed, __**our bed**__, her eyes bright and yet fearful. "Please, Edward," she would entice, holding her hands out to me wrists up. A flash of gold on her left hand catches my eye. "I love you," she whispers as my lips meet her skin. The memory of her exquisite taste consumes me and my mouth fills with venom. As fast as possible I inject her wrists and ankles with my poison, then turn toward her face. Her eyes are now wracked with pain – a sight I know all too well – and she begs me one more time. "Please, my love," she strains, and she slowly lifts her chin…_

I opened my eyes, ending the vision and looking at my drowsy love, and at her beautiful, inviting neck. The thought of how she so wanted me to inflict that violence upon her – to cause her such intense pain – dumbfounded me. In her eyes it would prove the permanence of my love, but how could I take away the only future she deserved? I quickly swallowed the dangerous fluid that had filled my mouth.

_Many things had to happen first_, I remembered, not the least of which was that she would have to become my wife. I glanced toward the end table, picturing the small black box that resided there. _Maybe, if she were my wife, I could…_

Bella finally started to relax, and I began to hum her lullaby, trying desperately to clear my thoughts. Soon she was breathing evenly again, sound asleep.

So many words, so many emotions, so many sensations had passed between us tonight that my mind was a jumble. Instead of trying to sort them out, I gave up. My favorite memory appeared as I envisioned Bella sitting innocently in our meadow, so trusting and lovely, and I focused on the one sound that was more soothing than any music, Bella's heart beat.

_The End_


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